So, wonderful winner Mysti, wait for wonderful writer Mary to send you your prize.
On another note, just for everyone's entertainment, seeing as I'll be MIA for a while again (I can't wait to stop having to study all the time), I decided to discuss sense of humor in writing.
I love jokes in books - I laugh at laughable situations. The more it makes me laugh, the more I love a book. But I kinda get the feeling that my humor is a bit messed up. No matter, it makes ME laugh, and that's important.
Maybe you're wondering what I'm yapping about. Here are some random excerpts of what I find funny in my stories. (No order)
Rachel’s jaw fell open.
“Dracula!” She said, turning to Daniel.
He shook his head. “No, my name is Daniel.”
She hit his shoulder. “You know what I mean, you doofus! Don’t you think Vlad might be Dracula?
“Did you know this before you became a Hunter, or did Max teach you how to steal cars too?” She’d actually wanted to ask what crawled up his ass, but was grateful this came out instead.
“I’ve always known how to do this stuff. Just like picking locks.” He drove off in his usual screechy manner. The tiers squealed against the asphalt again as he shifted into second gear. “Don’t you know how to do it?”
Rachel shrugged. “I never needed to. I was a goody-goody med student before turning into a Hunter. And why would I need to lock pick if I can break through doors and walls?”
“That’s how Hunter law works. Max was my maker, so his stuff is my stuff.” Daniel smirked. “I’m your maker, so my stuff is your stuff. It’s my obligation to sustain you. Kinda like a parent.”
“Eww! Don’t say that!”
“The phrase ‘Who’s your daddy?’ suddenly gets a new meaning, no?”
“Stop it! Do you want to put me off you for good?” Okay, she shouldn’t have said that. Please, please, please tell me you didn’t hear that.
“Why? Are you on me?”
"This... thing jumped out of nowhere, in front of me." Sam squinted, but still couldn't make out what it was.
"That thing is a house, I believe," Jerry said, unfastening his seatbelt.
"William, who did you want to save?" Tom asked, grasping his shoulders.
William stared beyond him. He raised one shaking finger and pointed behind Tom.
"What is it?" Jerry asked.
"It's a tree," William answered flatly.
"Yes, we see it's a tree. What about it?" Tom ran his hand through his hair. He had a bad feeling about this.
"It's a nice tree."
"Hey, look, more henchmen!" Tom said on a tone which implied that Snitch Gravel had just supplied his personal zoo with more exotic animals.
Sam wiggled harder, but there was no use. "Kyle, I'm stuck."
"What do you mean you're stuck?"
"I mean I can't get out."
Kyle's eyes never left Kay as she chatted to Jerry. Jessie glanced at him, a smile tugging at her lips. "Should I get you a bucket?"
"A bucket?" he barely managed to turn his attention to her.
"So you'd stop drooling on the floor."
The bucket joke - Gold
"What? We haven't officially started our mission yet." Steve lowered his voice to a whisper. "Besides, I've managed to pick up this gorgeous piece of work, and I'm not letting the chance go to waste."
Kyle raised an eyebrow. "You know I'm all for a little more love in the world, but now's not the time to pick up chicks."
"Easy for you to say. You're here with your girlfriend. I haven't had a girlfriend since I was your age, and I'm honestly tired of not getting any..." Steve didn't say what he wasn't getting, but mimed it, causing Jerry's eyes to widen.
"How on Earth did he manage to pick her up so fast?"
Jerry shrugged. "Probably told her he has a terminal disease."
“Bon soir monsieur! Est-ce que je peux assister?” the clerk asked as though he sincerely doubted it.
“Yeah, bon soir right back at you. I have no idea what you’ve just said, but I didn’t like your tone. Now, I want a bit of help from you,” Sam said. “I want to know whether you’ve seen a very beautiful girl come by here. Long brown hair, amber eyes, about this tall, wearing a pinkish trench coat…”
“I ‘ave no idea what you are talking about. Now, get out of my ‘otel!”
“Let me reformulate that,” Sam said pleasantly, taking his gun out and leaning his elbows on the counter. “I’m looking for a girl. Long brown hair, amber eyes, about this tall, wearing a pinkish trench coat. Have you seen her?”
“Sam, what are you doing?” Angie asked, her head snapping from left to right as though to make sure no one could see this.
“I’m only conversing with this nice gentleman, trying to get some information out of him.” Sam turned his attention back to the clerk who had turned pale and shaky. He said something in French quickly, but Sam only released the safety of his gun as an answer to his statement.
“She’s not ‘ere anymore. She left with zee men who brought ‘er a few ‘ours ago.” He finally answered, his voice trembling.
“Good enough. Merci.” Sam pocketed his gun and headed for the exit.
"Jerry, I'll race you to the corner and back," Jimmy said, jumping up and down on the spot, his teeth clattering.
"Race me? You want me to run in these heavy winter boots, through snow reaching my knees? You have got to be joking."
"I admit, I didn't expect it to go so well. But you and Tom are..."
"I was going for amazing, but have it your way."
And that's it. Do you find any of that funny? I know I do. I amuse myself quite easily. That's why I think my sense of humor is a bit wacky. Anyway...
See you guys soon, I hope!